She went from zero to smokin in five shots
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
