I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
