I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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