I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
