Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
