She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I understand Curling. That high.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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