I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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