haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
