Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
