Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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