did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
is this the sara with the beer cane?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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