Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
