I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
