So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
