I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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