Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
