Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
