remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
