none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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