They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
this boner is exhausting
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
