You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
