Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
