but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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