he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
