whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
too bad you live with your parents still
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
