Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
