Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
