eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
