please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
