So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
