benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
