very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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