I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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