I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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