i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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