so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Randomize
