She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
