Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
