i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
