absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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