I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
