Only a mothe r could love this liver
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
