I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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