Yo dont text me then not text me
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
