didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
