You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
