I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
