Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
