I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
