6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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