Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
