That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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