At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We had sex on a dog bed..
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
