so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He did a backflip because drugs
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