Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
